the day to day

i’m taking the first of my two certification tests today.  this week is the history portion, which i’m pretty confident about, and next week is the pedagogy and professional responsibilities portion, which tests me over things that have absolutely no relation to real life.  i mean, when the test prep book tells you not to draw from experience but rather to pretend you are in an ideal world, you know the information isn’t useful or practical.

the day to day routine of waking up-student teaching-coming home-going to bed-repeat is beginning to drain on me.  i miss being able to just go out at night and hang out with my friends, but now being tired all day isn’t really an option.  it’s difficult being one of the only ones of my friends with a super-structured schedule.  i missed a really good friend’s birthday the other day because they had the party after his life group at 10pm.  while things like that aren’t a big thing individually, it gives me a sense that i’m missing out on the details of my friends lives, and to me it’s the details that makes a friendship deep and lasting.

i’ve never been a fan of days full of tasks that must be done, but it appears that that is what my life will be from here on out.  even weekends are now filled with the things i didn’t have time to do during the week.  i know that we can’t always have fun or do the things we want, but i have always valued relationships above work and school and other things like that.  it is difficult to build relationships at the school when all the other teachers are married with kids, but that is where i spend most of my time now.  it is a little bit lonely, being in that space between seasons of life, where i am not a student, but not a post-grad; not married, but not a “career person.”

hopefully i will find a balance.  hopefully this time will teach me to depend less on people and more on God.  hopefully this will lead me to use the time i have with friends more deliberately and wisely.  who knows, maybe this is preparation for next year when i could be across the country and even more isolated than i am now.  for the moment, i will enjoy the brief times with friends that i am given.

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1 Comment

  1. Dad

     /  September 6, 2008

    What a great attitude! I’m proud of you. Hang in – it’s just a season.

    Love you!

    Dad
    xoxoxo

    Reply

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