Today on “Things Students Say”

3 separate scenes to give you a taste of some of the things that happen in my class.

Student 1:  How old are you Ms. Altsman?
Chorus of students:  She’s like 26 or 27.  No man, she’s like 22.  Nah, she’s 38.
Ms. Altsman:  I’m 57.
Chorus of students:  Man, you’re not 57.  Nah, I’m telling you she’s like 38.  Yeah, I bet she’s 38.
English language learner (very quietly):  Ms. Altsman, are you really 57?
*note to self: sarcasm does not mix well with students trying to learn English

Student 1:  RHA…Ms. A, what’s your middle name?
Ms. Altsman: You’ll never know.
Student 2:  I know her first name is Rachel.  What name starts with H?
Student 3:  Is it Henry?
Ms. Altsman:  Yes, my middle name is Henry (with sarcasm).
Student 2:  Really!? 

Ms. Altsman is standing in the doorway of her classroom.
Student in hallway:  Hey, Ms. Altsman.
Ms. Altsman:  Hey, _______.
Student:  Ms. Altsman, did you lose some weight?
Ms. Altsman:  What!?
Student:  You know, you’re looking pretty good today and I was just wonderin if you lost some weight.  I just wanted to make you feel good, you know.
Ms. Altsman:  Oh…thanks.  I don’t really know.
(While walking away) Student:  I mean, if you get thin, maybe then we could talk.

Ah, another day in the life of a teacher…

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