Why I Have Not Been Verbose of Late

My posts have been shorter, less frequent, and definitely not on time recently.  One major reason for that is because I like to keep things positive, but I haven’t been feeling a whole lot of positivity recently.

It’s nothing big and nothing even very specific, I just feel like I’m struggling in every area of my life right now.  I want to have consistent quiet times and find my strength in the Lord and make my work for growth group a priority, but I don’t.

I want to eat right and work hard at the gym, and I’m trying, but I don’t feel like I’m really doing it very well.  Every other time I’ve tried to change my life to be more healthy, this is the point where I either get distracted, or just plain quit.  I want to power through that wall, but the bricks are feeling a heck of a lot stronger than my punches.

Things are going well at school, but I still feel like my kids are not getting the education they deserve, even from me.  I need to be a better teacher, a more focused and organized planner, and a more consistent disciplinarian, but I’m not doing it.  Our TFA meetings recently have been focused on going from good to great and while I know things that I can easily do to improve, I feel like I’m not implementing them well.

Intellectually, I know that many things are going in well in my life.  I know I shouldn’t beat myself up about diet slip ups or missing a workout or a less than stellar lesson.  I know that all these things take time – major life changes and being a great teacher are not things that happen in a mere couple of months.  Unfortunately my emotions are not exactly in sync with my brain and I don’t know what to do about it.  I just want to stop feeling guilty all the time and start feeling like I’m actually being successful at something in my life.

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1 Comment

  1. Dad

     /  February 23, 2011

    I know you don’t believe it coming from me, but you are a daily inspiration to me. I couldn’t do what you do every day. You are way more successful than you think about yourself.

    You don’t need to go from good to great, your’re going from almost great to spectacularly great!

    Don’t sell yourself short!

    Reply

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  • A collection of ramblings and musings on Jesus, life, education, family, and anything else that pops into my head.

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