Why I’ve Been Thinking

“People appreciate you more when they see you less.”

This is something a friend of mine said to me today and it’s gotten me thinking.

Because of my desperate need to gain people’s approval, I have almost always been known as the reliable one.  If there was something going on, I was going to be there.  If there was a service at church, I was there.  If there was a CollegeLife event, I was there.  If there was a Darcy show, I was there.

Being reliable is not an undesirable trait.  I think, however, this may be part of the reason I frequently feel like I am being taken advantage of or taken for granted.  Because I am always there, I become part of the background, part of the scenery of my life.  I always thought that consistent attendance and reliability would make me an integral part of whatever group I was a part of, that being at every possible event meant that I was finally part of the group.

I’m beginning to wonder if that’s true.  But at the same time, what effect should that have on my life?  Should I start skipping events, just so people will notice it more when I’m there?  That seems manipulative.  But at the same time, I’ve assumed that always being present will lead to me being appreciated and loved, and that hasn’t exactly worked out for me.  There has to be some sort of balance there, but I have no idea what it is.

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  • A collection of ramblings and musings on Jesus, life, education, family, and anything else that pops into my head.

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