Why I’m Freaking Out a Little Bit

I have had a blog for over eight years now.  Over those eight years, my most consistent readers have been my parents.  Up until I discovered Google reader, I didn’t interact much in the blog world.  Even since then, I am mostly a passive consumer: I read a lot of different blogs, but rarely comment.  When I do comment, it’s usually only on the blogs of people I actually know.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned about blogging, though, it’s that you have to really participate in order to gain an audience.  There may be exceptions, but for the most part, you have to update consistently and predictably, you have to comment on other blogs, and you have to strategically utilize social networking if you want your blog to ever be read by anyone who doesn’t know you.

I’ve never been incredibly interested in doing that.  Sure, I want people to read what I write.  If I didn’t, I wouldn’t post it on the internet.  And of course I dreamed about how awesome it would be to make a living as a blogger and not have a “real” job, but I also knew it wouldn’t be nearly as cool as it sounded in my head.  My blog was for me, whether I was posting silly quizzes as a senior in high school, pictures of mission trips and angsty poetry as a college student, or funny stories about my students as a teacher.

So imagine my surprise when all of a sudden my post from the other day seemed to blow up.  When I wrote it, I didn’t expect it to be anything out of the ordinary.  Like many of my posts, it stemmed from a conversation I had had the evening before that made me want to organize my thoughts on the subject.  I didn’t even think I was saying anything new, much less something that was going to resonate with so many people.

I posted a link to it on Facebook, because it’s summer break and that’s what I do while everyone else is at work.  Before I knew it, people were sharing the link all over the place.  I was actually getting comments from people other than my dad.  Then I was getting comments from people I don’t actually know!  My blog has gotten more hits in the past three days than it usually does in a three month span!  (Interestingly enough, one of the only other times I have had a larger-than-usual number of hits, it was another post about relationships.  If you think my post from Wednesday made me sound bitter, check out this one…Wednesday’s doesn’t even compare.)

All this to say, now I’m freaking out a little bit.  When no one was paying any attention, I could spend ten minutes writing up something silly and nonsensical and post it without proofreading it.  I could disappear for months at a time when I didn’t have the energy to write or nothing I felt needed to be said.  But now, apparently, people want to hear what I have to say.

Maybe it was just a fluke and my blog will go back to it’s obscure little corner of the internet.  If it does, I’m perfectly fine with that.  On the other hand, what if it doesn’t?  What if I actually have things to share that people want to hear?  Kind of puts a lot of pressure on the next few things I post, doesn’t it?

Which may actually be for the best, because I already have another post ready and scheduled to post on Sunday morning  :)

Leave a comment


  1. Joel Altsman

     /  June 1, 2012

    You always do better under pressure, Miss Procrastination! This will be no different. I hope this leads to a more consistent writing opportunity for you. Obviously, I am NOT the only one who wants to hear from you!!

  2. Gaynelle

     /  June 1, 2012

    Just be yourself and keep writing sweetie!!


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  • A collection of ramblings and musings on Jesus, life, education, family, and anything else that pops into my head.

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