Why I’m Not Picky (Even Though I Kind of Am)

Last Friday night I was at a house show with a couple of friends.  It was one of those awkward situations where I only knew two people, but those two people knew practically everyone else there.  That may be my least favorite social situation ever.

Anyway, at one point I was talking to a guy friend of mine and another guy walked by us.  My (straight) friend was like, “Oooh, he looks strong and kinda sexy,” and gives me this look, like I should be interested.  I just kind of shrugged because he wasn’t really my type.  He was four or five inches shorter than me and I had overheard him talking to someone else about how he didn’t go to college and had been pouring concrete for the past couple of years.

Now don’t get me wrong, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being short, not going to college, or pouring concrete for a living.  I’m just not sure what we would have to talk about.  And four or five inches is a pretty big height difference, and I’m not exactly tall.

Well, when I said he wasn’t really my type, my friend got all bent out of shape and started going on about girls making snap judgments about guys without even giving them a shot.  In my opinion, all of this was a moot point anyway, because the guy had not even acknowledged my existence when he walked by us.  And I tried to tell him that IF the guy had shown any interest I would have said yes to at least a date, but he just kept going on and on about how frustrated he is that girls make decisions about guys without even giving them a chance.

I kind of wanted to smack him upside the head.  As if he’s never decided about a girl without giving her a chance.  It’s not like he’s going around asking every girl he knows on a date to give her a shot – I know, because he’s never asked me.

Maybe he’s right.  Maybe I’m sending out vibes that tell guys I’ve already decided about them and that’s why no one ever asks me out.  I just really don’t think that is the case.  I mean, it’s not like I’m single because I’m turning down dates all the time (boy, do I wish that was the reason).

What do you think?  Am I being too picky?  Should I have given guy-who-paid-me-no-attention more of a shot?  Does a girl have a responsibility to give every possibility a chance (within reason…I don’t think my friend wants me to give a guy who doesn’t love Jesus a shot)?  Let me know your opinion in the comments!

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  1. Kelly J

     /  July 10, 2012

    I don’t think you’re too picky. I think everyone makes snap judgements–you just happened to say yours out loud. As long as you’re open to admitting you were wrong if there were some interest, I don’t think it’s a problem. God gave us brains and personalities hoping that we’d use them, and as long as we keep those in check (i.e. remember who’s God and who’s not), in my experience instincts tend to be right.


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  • A collection of ramblings and musings on Jesus, life, education, family, and anything else that pops into my head.

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